Content note: This article contains descriptions of domestic violence and traumatic assault. When my ex-spouse and I were dating, we had the the usual getting-to-know-each-other talks — with a deeper dimension, since we had known each other as kids and had reconnected as adults. As we delved deeply into our personal histories, each providing individual perspectives on our shared childhoods, she said something that would forever change the context of my life:. My dad was clean and sober, stern but loving, the very model of a Baptist preacher.
Many of our parents spanked. And most of us hold the perspective that our parents were doing their very best to love us. It seems to me that there are three core questions to ask about spanking. Most parents feel angry when they spank. An angry person is determined to assert control in a situation, and doing something physical feels like it will bring some relief.
Many adults have memories of being spanked for behaviors related to ADHD, whether or not they had a diagnosis at the time. Spanking remains somewhat controversial among parents, but medical and parenting experts have long noted that the practice does more harm than good. It is an established fact that one cannot spank the ADHD out of a child. The American Academy of Pediatrics, which represents the majority of pediatric doctors in the United States, discourages spanking.